|Joanne Guest FAQ > Archives > Past exploits|
As the title suggests, this page concentrates on what Jo did in years gone by. For more recent stuff about Jo, visit part 1 of the FAQ itself.
You've got to be kidding, right?
Generally speaking, unless it's actually billed as an interview you won't be reading any of Jo's words at all.
To quote Jo herself:
"I suppose you could argue with it, but for the past few years I've only done one regular men's magazine, and I've got no stories left to tell, so it would be a pretty boring page. I'm a romantic girl at heart, but the people that read porn mags don't want to hear that you're not having sex this month."
Is this is a sign of blonde dementia? - you tell me. Here are some excerpts from the Daily Star (August 30, 1997):
Daft doctors reckon they are keeping abreast of the times... by banning the word cleavage. From now on man's favourite curvy crevice will be called 'intermammary sulcus'...... [snip] .....
'What do you call yours?' - Megababe Jo Guest was left feeling flat after hearing that her cleavage would be given a new tit-le. And she revealed she calls her 34B stunners Pinky and Perky. The bouncy beauty said: "To me they will always be tits. Anatomy has always been my strong point."
I will make no further comment on this naming phenomenon - except to say that Jo's anatomy (especially her 'intermammary sulcus') has led to quite a few men developing strong points.....
Well, for a two-year period (1996-1997), Loaded seemed to rely on Jo to sell their magazine for them - they featured her constantly.
To give an example, in early 1997 (towards the end of the 1996/7 football season) they ran a competition involving the results of one of the English Premier League's annually struggling clubs, Coventry City. Ron Atkinson was the manager of Cov [he was given the boot late 1996 - Loaded up to date as usual] so Loaded decided they'd have some fun at his expense (they don't like him).
The deal went like this: for every game Cov lost they'd feature some pics of Jo taking her gear off in the magazine, but if Cov won it would be Big Fat Ron stripping off instead (this is quite an incentive). They even extended the challenge to all Cov's Premier League opponents to do their best to beat them. The situation was looking quite good up until the end of the season but Coventry won on the final day to ensure their survival in the top flight for another year (never a happy ending when you want one).
Jo hasn't made many appearances in Loaded in 1998 but I'm not sure why this is (you don't expect me to buy the blasted magazine, do you?)
Loaded can probably (grudgingly in my case) be credited with sending Jo's career skyrocketing. Before they started featuring her in their pages she was just a really popular Page3 and MW star. What Loaded's popularity is down to is anyone's guess(t).....
In November 1998, Granada "Men & Motors" (on UK cable/satellite TV) came up with a new feature for Jo to host. This was a "problem discussion" forum, with Jo advising people (i.e. viewers) on their sexual problems: the show was given the name "Jo Guest's Private Parts". Sad to say, viewer comments have led me to conclude that the result wasn't exactly the most gripping of televisual experiences.
Nevertheless, the Daily Star must have liked the idea because they signed up Jo to do a weekly column on the same theme. This is of course your basic "agony aunt" job, but Jo is far too good-looking for that title, so the Daily Star called her an "Agony Babe" instead. Well, that's newspapers for you :-)
Addendum: Despite an announcement in January 2000 that Jo had signed up for another year, her Daily Star agony column ended on 28 March 2000.
In 1996, Jo did a photoshoot for a company that was promoting the "Battlecruiser 3000AD" game for the PC. Only one (black-and-white) photo from that shoot was used: it showed Jo wearing a black leather bra, panties and thigh-length boots - she was perched on a stool with the game itself held in front of her on the stool. The photo appeared in that form (with only the name of the game repeated plus the name of the distributor) in several PC magazines, including the November 1996 issue of PC Gamer.
However, that was not the only version of the advert. For the more "laddish" magazines (e.g. PC Zone) one or two alterations were made. For a start, the caption "She really wants it" was added, and in this version of the photo it looked like she wasn't wearing any panties (the game box obviously obscured the interesting area). Having examined both adverts carefully I've come to the conclusion that the panties were airbrushed out of the PC Zone version, and NOT digitally inserted on the PC Gamer version. But I could be wrong...
This had the effect of getting the game talked about, but not necessarily in the way that the advertiser had hoped: complaints were made to the ASA who handed down a judgement that the advertiser should desist from that style of advertising.
The whole episode could be viewed as a desperate attempt by the advertiser of a not-particularly-good game (in PC gaming circles, BC3K is often held to be "the most bug-ridden game ever released onto the market") but as far as Jo was concerned it was just another photoshoot.
Of course, the REAL reason for calling the advert "infamous" is that it was the first picture of Jo I ever saw... :-)
The press have on occasion made reference to Jo's love life. Here are the highlights (or lowlights):
Back in 1997, the NOTW posted two 'articles' featuring interviews with some dweebs who had supposedly been Jo's lovers at one time. Jo herself, in her interview with Alex Wilson, strongly denied that these were true. In the case of the two photographers in the first article there's no doubt that they once knew her, it's just that they appeared to be in need of large sums of cash at the time of the interview and the NOTW supplied them with £2000 for the story. For this we can assume that therefore they felt obliged to come up with a few extra 'details' - most of which Jo refutes in her interview with Alex.
www.joanneguest.co.uk was Jo's first attempt at an "official" website. It opened for business in August 1997 but swiftly ran into trouble: updates ceased after only three months, and the site was finally deleted in September 1998.
In a TV interview (on Granada Men & Motors), Jo said that one of the reasons for its closure was because the site wasn't being updated with news as promptly as she would have liked. Reading between the lines, it would appear there were more fundamental problems (which could perhaps be expressed as "differing expectations" of the various parties to the deal).
Undeterred by this earlier failure, Jo tried again at www.joguestprivatemembers.com which opened in May 2000. Sadly, events seem to have followed a familiar pattern and the site is now moribund.
Jo's interview with Alex Wilson can be found here.
Other interviews are available on the WWW at some of the sites listed in Part 4 of this FAQ. Jo has been featured in several publications, including newspapers and mens 'style' mags.
A UK magazine appeared in 1997 called "XNet" (focussing on the adult side of the Internet), on it the cover CD's occasionally had 25MB+ avi files featuring interviews and scenes of Jo at work. Don't expect to see these on the newsgroup as they are really too large for posting.
Special note in this case must be made of the News Of The World (NOTW) - I don't know why but they seem to have it in for Jo (doesn't she appear in their rag or something?). They have in the past dug up at least three stories concerning Jo's love life and all have been written in Sensationalist!! mode.....
Please remember that the NOTW is most definitely a "tabloid" newspaper, so the odds on these stories being 100% true are as remote as say... Samantha Fox's singing career taking off again.
Jo has been in the modelling business for several years, and some items may no longer be available in the shops. Here's a sample:
This is a sort of 'day in the life of a page 3 girl' type expose - the blurb reads:
"Get to know bubbly Jo Guest as she takes you behind the scenes of the glamour modelling game. Meeting model agents, preparing for a shoot, and posing for the camera are all in a days work for Britain's best-known model."
Reviews of this video, written by Maxwell Smut and Stig, are available here.
Released by Screen UK - catalogue number SUD 2007.
Shares quite a bit of source material with "Fiesta Model Profile" video mentioned above, but each video contains footage not present in the other video so there is a legitimate reason for getting them both.
"The Official Joanne Guest Calendar" first saw the light of day in late 1997 (i.e. the 1998 edition) and editions subsequently appeared for 1999 and 2000. She has also featured on several other calendars in years gone by: the Danilo Supermodels, Mens World, MotorCycle News and FHM calendars spring to mind.
Some time ago (1994, I believe) a Jo Guest CD 'game' was released from Interactive Girls - this being the so called "Milk Round" game. It's very disappointing: pictures of Jo hidden behind an extremely boring front-end 'game' where you search, seemingly endlessly, for her address. The pics are of a disgustingly low resolution and badly animated to boot. You might find the occasional advert for this game on the WWW, but do bear in mind the game is at least 5 years old so it may well be out of stock...
1997 saw the release of a "Glamagotchii" CD game called
Love Bytes. It was inspired by the virtual pet craze
- the idea of the game was to keep a VR version of Jo happy by spending
lots of money on her (so it's very realistic then?) - Jo was chosen by
the producers of this CD because "she's the most famous glamour
girl in the country and she's famous for not having a boyfriend."
As with all games of this genre, you wouldn't buy it for the gameplay: while not exactly a bad game, it was quite a long way from being a good one. So what else did you get for your money? Well, 600 pictures of Jo on the CD, of course (but no full nudes: this was sponsored by the Daily Star, after all).
Jo has also appeared on numerous "picture collection" CDs. The most well-known of these are probably the Japanese "Yellow Box" series, several of which were dedicated to Jo alone (one of them was even called "Dear Joanne Guest").
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